Week 4-The Importance of a Covenant Marriage









My covenant marriage:
November 7, 2009
Newport Beach Temple







I remember a conversation I had when I was 19 with my serious boyfriend at the time.  We had been dating for almost a year and a half, he was in the military and he wanted to seriously talk about marriage.  My struggle at the time was the fact that I loved him with all my heart, however, he was not a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  There was a war waging in my heart.  I desperately wanted to be married in the temple, to have a "covenant marriage", yet my high school sweetheart had no interest in joining the church.  He could not understand why a temple marriage meant so much to me, and though I tried my best to explain it to him, I'm sure the 20 year old version of me did not do the best job in explaining.  If I could go back and whisper the right words in my ear, I'd include some of the following...

⤐It's important to me.  I've seen through the examples of couples that I've admired that the temple is a holy place that brings peace.  I want to be married there and I believe that a temple marriage is how families become eternal.  When I see a temple it reminds me of all the hopes and dreams I have of having an eternal family.  Going inside with my husband one day is something I want with all my heart.

⤐The power to be sealed together in marriage on earth and in heaven was on the earth with Adam, and then the power and privilege was lost.  Many people sacrificed everything they had to see it come back to the earth again through Elijah in the first temple in these latter days.  It was a precious treasure given back to us, and through a covenant marriage in the temple, that is how we are able to see God again in the Celestial Kingdom.

⤐I know that when I make promises to God in the temple, in making and keeping a covenant marriage, I will be blessed with a deeper love for my family.  I will learn to become more like God and will be able to inherit all the blessings promised to man.

⤐When I am bound to a man not only until death, but through all eternity and beyond, I may be a little more inclined to dig deeper into my wells of patience, grace, and forgiveness for him.  Knowing the Plan of Happiness includes the trials as well as the joys, I will be less likely to walk away when times get tough, or when I feel like I am just not happy anymore.  When I see the temple, and I'm reminded of all the promises made, I remember to give more than just my equal and fair share, my 50%... I will give it my all.

I really do wish I could go back and whisper all that and so much more in the ear of 20 year old me.  I forgot so much of who I was and what I believed for a few years.  I'd remind myself not to compromise who I was.  I'd tell myself that one day a man will come into your life who will take you to the temple.  You'll have three amazing children, born under the covenant.  They will have a mother and a father who not only fill all their needs but love them so incredibly much.  In marriage, you will be the yin to your husbands yang, equal, yet filling different roles that perfectly balance your family.

I'd warn myself that the wolves will come to the door, as spoken of by Elder Bruce C. Hafen in a talk titled Covenant Marriage.  In natural adversity, there will be sickness, death, and employment strains. Strengthen your testimony so you have the faith to help each other get through it.  Nothing is so bad that it will not get better with time.  Remember that.  Each of you will deal with your own imperfections, but give each other grace and forgiveness.  You are not perfect and will need the forgiveness as well, so don't be stingy!  Be aware of excessive individualism.  Personal happiness is not the priority.  True and lasting happiness comes when you each put each other first.  


I'd whisper "don't give up on your dream.  Your temple marriage will come, and it will feel like a dream come true."


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Week 11- The Importance of Being Faithful

Image
I want to relate a story that a good friend shared with me in the midst of a conflict she was having.  I have her permission to share.  My good friend showed up at church one Sunday surprised to see that an old male friend of hers had not only just moved into her ward, but had moved five doors down from her, on the same street as her.  It wasn't long before their kids were carpooling to school, the families were hanging out for dinners and games, and it was very easy to pick the friendship right back up where they left off.  The only problem was they were no longer young single adults, but married with families.  The friendship that felt natural was no longer appropriate.  They would text each other on occasion about kids or school stuff and then continue talking about other things.  He would complain about his wife and she would give him advise thinking she was helping.  One night when her husband was working late, she heard a noise in her ba...
Read more

Week 12 - Who Has the Power?

Image
I did not grow up in a traditional family.  We had so many issues, we could have started our own magazine.   I've discussed before that pretty much everything I learned about families and relationships was learned through learning what I didn't want to do because of them.  The last time I ever lived under a roof with 2 normal happily married people was when I was 4 years old.  The weekends I spent at my dads house, I learned very well that his favorite saying about the rules at his house was "This isn't a democracy, its a dictatorship!" This week basically reinforced that everything I experienced growing up was just one big no-no as far as how families should deal with control and power.  Heres what I learned from Richard B. Miller in an address titled Who's the Boss; Parents should be the "executive committee" and the "Board of Directors"... not dictators.   Parents lead the family.  Its not about control, its about love and care. ...
Read more

Week 10 - The Magic Six Hours

Image
When researcher John Gottman, PH.D. looked to see what the main difference was between couples who continued to improve on their marriage and happiness over the years, and those who did not, he found one blaring difference.  He noticed that couples who were successful in their relationship had devoted time and patterns to improving their relationship each week.  He called this the Magic Six Hours.  Gottman outlines this weekly pattern in the end of his book The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work; Partings-  Find out at least one thing that your spouse will be doing that day.  What is something that is on their schedule?  Doing this for 5 working days, at 2 minutes a day, this totals 10 minutes . Reunions - ALWAYS greet your spouse after the day with a hug and a kiss.  Not just a peck, but a kiss that lasts at least 6 seconds.  Can you knock their socks off?  Then have a conversation about the day for around 20 minutes.  Doi...
Read more